developing a solid elder plan is necessary to ensure your loved one’s journey through aging will be as smooth as possible. The original step to proper elder planning is to hold a what if talk. The talk will set the stage for manufacturing the plan.

prior to having this all-necessary what if? Talk, it is imperative to answer all of the who, where, when and what questions. Most importantly, what are the meeting goals and objectives.

setting the stage

when planning and holding the what if? Talk, plan well. Look at family dynamics, determine who had better be present, where and when the talk should happen.

who had better be present?

children

the meeting had better be as inclusive as possible and fair and pragmatic. Every solution and campaign had better be made to include all children. Excluding family members may result in animosity, and distrust.

if distance prevents physical attendance look at a telephone or video conference.

in-laws

the choice to include or exclude in-laws varies from family to family. Including or excluding in-laws had better be discussed and agreed upon prior to the commencement of the meeting. Don’t make assumptions. Cordiality at holiday gatherings does not inevitably signify familial closeness.

professionals

because of their expertise, engaging the services of a lawyer, accountant, therapist, clergy fellow member or other professional to expedite the discussion may be utile. Before including professionals, look at the cost of professional service fees as well as family dynamics. Look at the affect their presences may have. Will family members feel comfortable in an open way talking about impertinent and personal family matters in the presence of an outsider?

where and when

realizing the “what if? ” talk may be met with numerous resistance, it is rudimentary and essential to select the proper venue. Where is your loved one most likely to be comfortable sufficient to open up and speak freely?

give thought as to what time is right for your family. Be attentive not to disrupt schedules. Be cognizant of significant dates. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is probably not the best day to schedule the talk.

setting objectives

the most necessary step in pre-talk preparation is defining and setting personal and specific objectives to be admirable and accomplished. Writing out objectives will help maintain focus. While the objectives will vary from family to family, three minimum objectives should be met.

1. Understand wishes in regards to financial management, care and services.
2. Gather tangible and sufficient data to grow a feasible elder plan,

3. Understand final and post life wishes.

given the emotionally charged nature of the subjects to be discussed, a natural recoil and reaction is to lessen the stressfulness by digressing into more pleasant subjects. Manufacture an agenda and abide by it.

once the logistics are settled, it is time to hold the actual talk. If the talk becomes slightly contentious, remember that the talk does not must be completed in one sitting. The process of talking may go on days, weeks or even months. Submission and good-natured tolerance and compassionateness are the two most necessary ingredients for having a successful talk.